Still Teaching: How to Share Financial Values with Your Adult Children

Just because your children are grown doesn’t mean the money conversations are over. In fact, some of the most important financial lessons and decisions happen in the later chapters of life—not just for you, but for your family.
Now that you’re in your later years, you may find yourself in a new and complex position: navigating retirement, managing assets, considering your legacy, and possibly supporting adult children or even grandchildren. This stage calls for intentional conversations and decisions that go beyond spreadsheets—it’s about values, boundaries, clarity, and connection.
Here’s how to approach money with your adult kids in a way that strengthens relationships and prepares everyone for the future.

1. Be Open About Your Financial Situation (to a Point)

Your children don’t need to know every line item in your portfolio—but they do need to know where things stand in broad strokes. Will you need financial support in the future? Do you plan to help them financially? What should they expect in terms of inheritance—or not?
These conversations might feel awkward at first, especially if money was once a taboo subject in your family. But being proactive now prevents confusion and resentment later. You’re giving them a roadmap, not a burden.
💬 Tip: Schedule a casual “family financial meeting”—perhaps over a meal or during a holiday visit. Keep the tone light but purposeful. Let them ask questions, and keep the door open for future conversations.

2. Talk About Legacy Before It’s Too Late

Legacy isn’t just about who gets what. It’s about the story you’re telling with your money. It’s about values: generosity, responsibility, independence, compassion.
You may want to leave something behind—not just financially, but philosophically. Maybe that’s through charitable giving, helping a grandchild with education, or creating a family donor-advised fund. Maybe it’s just sharing your “why” behind the way you’ve handled money throughout your life.
If you’re leaving behind assets, consider writing a letter or recording a video to accompany your estate plan. A trust or will handles the what—but your story tells the why.

3. Avoid Enabling, But Offer Empowerment

It’s natural to want to help your kids—especially if you’re in a position to do so. But there’s a difference between a thoughtful gift and an open-ended bailout.
If you’re giving financial help, be clear about it. Is it a one-time gift? A loan? Are there expectations attached? Lack of clarity now can sow discord later. On the flip side, if you want to support them in learning to manage wealth or prepare for future responsibility, consider including them in meetings with your financial advisor, CPA, or attorney.
💬 Tip: Don’t just give your children money—teach them what to do with it. Help them make smart choices with any inheritance or gifts. That’s the difference between wealth transfer and wealth stewardship.

4. Revisit Your Estate Plan (With Them in Mind)

Your will, powers of attorney, healthcare directives, and beneficiary designations should all reflect your current wishes. But it’s not enough to simply have the documents. Your family should know where they are, what they say, and how to carry them out.
If one of your children is your executor or power of attorney, talk to them about it. If you’re using trusts, explain why. It’s not about controlling from the grave—it’s about protecting the people you love.

5. Lead with Trust, Not Fear

As we age, it’s easy to fall into the trap of worry: “Will they waste the money?” “What if they make a mistake?” “Are they ready?” These are valid concerns. But if you’ve spent a lifetime teaching, guiding, and loving your children, trust that some of those seeds have taken root.
Mistakes may happen—but so will growth. Instead of clinging to control, use this time to encourage dialogue, offer mentorship, and express confidence in your children’s ability to navigate the future.

Final Reflection:

You taught your kids about money when they were little—perhaps with jars labeled “spend,” “save,” and “give.” Now, those jars may look like investment accounts, estate documents, or family foundations. But the principle is the same: money is a reflection of what we value.
By continuing these conversation over time, you’re not just managing wealth. You’re modeling wisdom. You’re turning a lifetime of financial decisions into a legacy that’s personal, purposeful, and impactful.