More Than Money: How to Create an Ethical Will and Pass On What Truly Matters

When we think about wills, we usually think of documents that divide our assets—who gets what, how much, and when. But what about passing on your values? Your life lessons? The wisdom you’ve gained from decades of living, loving, failing, and growing?
That’s where the Ethical Will comes in.

What Is an Ethical Will?
An ethical will isn’t a legal document—it’s a letter from your heart, a legacy of your beliefs, stories, and values. It's where you say the things money can’t. It’s your opportunity to speak directly to the people you love, even after you’re gone.
Originating in Jewish tradition, ethical wills were once used to pass down spiritual and moral teachings from one generation to the next. Today, they’ve evolved into deeply personal reflections on what truly matters in life—family, faith, resilience, forgiveness, hope.
It’s not about instruction or control. It’s about connection.

Why Is It Important?
Many people spend years fine-tuning their financial legacy, but forget to communicate the why behind their choices. An ethical will fills in that gap. It tells your family what mattered most to you, what you learned from your experiences, and what you hope for their future.
When your children or grandchildren read it, they won’t just see your name on a balance sheet—they’ll feel your presence, your voice, and your love.
Here are just a few reasons people choose to create one:
•    To share life lessons learned from success and failure
•    To explain the meaning behind financial decisions or charitable giving
•    To offer love, blessings, and encouragement to children and grandchildren
•    To make peace and express forgiveness
•    To record family history and preserve identity
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How to Create Your Ethical Will: 4 Simple Steps
You don’t need to be a writer or philosopher. You just need to be honest, thoughtful, and open. Here’s how to begin:

1. Reflect on What Matters Most
Ask yourself:
•    What values have guided your life?
•    What are the most important lessons you’ve learned?
•    What do you want your loved ones to remember about you?
•    What hopes do you have for them?
You can jot down thoughts in a journal, or even record a voice memo to get started. The key is authenticity, not perfection.

2. Write It in Your Voice
This is a letter, not a legal brief. Speak from the heart, as if you were talking to your child, your spouse, or a future grandchild. You might write to your whole family, or create different versions for different people.
You can include:
•    Personal stories
•    Messages of gratitude
•    Hopes and dreams for your children or grandchildren
•    Reflections on hardship, faith, love, or forgiveness
•    Explanations of decisions you made—especially if they may raise questions later

3. Connect It to Your Broader Legacy
Your ethical will can complement your estate plan by giving context to your financial decisions. If you're leaving money to a cause, explain why. If you're distributing assets in a certain way, explain what motivated that choice—not to justify, but to humanize.
This helps avoid confusion and conflict. It also deepens the impact of your generosity.

4. Share It When the Time Feels Right
You can choose to share your ethical will during your lifetime—on a special occasion or simply as a gift. Or you can leave it to be read after your passing. Either way, it becomes a lasting part of your legacy.
You can even record a video or audio message if that feels more natural. The format doesn’t matter. The message does.

Final Thought:
At the end of our lives, what we leave behind isn’t just assets. It’s meaning. Your ethical will is a love letter across time—a bridge from your life to theirs, carrying wisdom, values, and the essence of who you are.
Don’t wait for the “perfect” moment to write it. Life is uncertain, but your voice can live on. Start now. One paragraph at a time.

Want Help Creating Yours?
As a financial planner, I don’t just help clients manage their money—I help them articulate what they want that money to say. If you’d like help crafting your ethical will or integrating it into your broader legacy plan, I’d be honored to guide you through it.